Current:Home > FinanceThis mother-in-law’s outrageous request went viral. Why 'grandmas' are rejecting that title. -Capitatum
This mother-in-law’s outrageous request went viral. Why 'grandmas' are rejecting that title.
View
Date:2025-04-11 12:48:26
Are terms like "grandma" and "grandpa" a thing of the past? Some baby boomers apparently hope so.
Earlier this month, a woman went viral on TikTok for sharing a video about how her mother-in-law doesn't want to be called "grandma." Her suggestions instead? Mama paired with her last name − so Mama Smith, for example. This was quickly vetoed as her son and daughter-in-law pointed out this would likely end up shortened to mama, which did not sit well with the child's mom. The mother-in-law's next pick? "Queen mother."
"To be fair, I think she's watching 'Bridgerton,' so that may have played a role," the TikToker said in a video with 1.9 million views, adding her mother-in-law said it could be shortened to "queenie." She and her husband coaxed her mother-in-law out of "queenie" and got her to eventually agree to "G-ma."
The comments were flooded with users who lamented they've fielded similar requests from their parents and in-laws: "My father seriously wanted to be called 'your honor;' "My mom wanted mom-mom 'because I'm their mom's mom.' No. Hard no;" "My (mother-in-law) just wanted Mama. I have never laughed at someone so hard." And recent data also speaks to that trend.
In August, Preply surveyed 1,500 Americans across all 50 states and found, "The baby boomer generation is … opting for nicknames that resonate more with their vibrant spirit and sense of individuality."
The most-popular alternatives for grandma include nicknames like "Gigi," "Bibi" and "Momo;" while the most-popular grandpa alternatives include options like "G-pa" and "Grandude."
Boomers aren't the first generation to shake up traditional titles, but experts say their quest to reinvent what they're called as grandparents shows how many feel about aging and entering their golden years.
Why do people not want to be called 'grandma' or 'grandpa'?
Erik Anderson, a licensed marriage and family therapist, speculates there could be multiple reasons why baby boomers are opting to forgo being called "grandma" and "grandpa," including a denial of getting older.
It's also possible that, instead of denying their age, they more so don't want to seem old-fashioned or see themselves in the same light as their own grandparents.
Also, in a culture that emphasizes embracing the authentic self, new grandparents may just want to feel unique.
"People end up acting in relatively predictable ways, even when they're trying to strive for individuality and uniqueness," Anderson says.
Sometimes there could be a more sinister motivation. A grandmother wanting to be called "mama," for instance, may want to usurp control of a grandchild from their mother by going by a similar title.
"People should have the freedom to be addressed by whatever they would like, but again, it has to be something too that's not duplicating what already exists or infringes on the parents," psychotherapist Stephanie Sarkis says. "It could be a power and control issue. (Or) it could just be not being aware of how that could impact the parent."
Furious at your parents for aging?You're not alone.
What if a grandparent wants to be called something outrageous?
So what should parents do if a grandparent wants to be called something truly outrageous? Anderson and Sarkis agree that, while it's generous to let a grandparent select their title, ultimately, the child's parents get final approval.
"The family with the young children gets to make those decisions, or at least has a little more leeway or rights than grandma or grandpa," Anderson says, adding that parents setting boundaries also sets a healthy example for their children.
How will you look when you're 80?A new TikTok filter predicts Gen Z's future wrinkles, and insecurities, in a viral trend
Sarkis says it's important to be firm, yet compassionate, toward grandparents who insist on an inappropriate title, while still explaining your reasons for rejecting their request.
"You just say, 'Hey, that name, well, we don't want to confuse the baby, so how about we come up with another name?' " Sarkis says. "People have the right to come up with a name that they find appropriate for them, but the parent also has the right to say that that's not OK with them."
If a grandparent does come up with a nickname that both they and the child's parents like, then it can be a good way of allowing the grandparent to feel empowered as they step into their new role as grandma − or g-ma or whatever they want to call it.
"That freedom of being able to choose what you want to be called, there's a lot of power in that," Sarkis says. "For some people, they just don't identify with certain names for grandparents, and that's OK."
Melissa Gilbert:'Little House on the Prairie' star on why she ditched Botox, embraced aging
veryGood! (38)
Related
- Gen. Mark Milley's security detail and security clearance revoked, Pentagon says
- A shooting in Germany linked to a domestic dispute leaves 3 dead, 2 wounded
- Attorney of Rust cinematographer's family says Alec Baldwin case dismissal strengthens our resolve to pursue justice
- Chuck Lorre vows 'Georgie & Mandy's First Marriage' success, even if TV marriage is doomed
- Which apps offer encrypted messaging? How to switch and what to know after feds’ warning
- Australian gallery's Picasso exhibit that sparked a gender war wasn't actually the Spanish painter's work
- Jana Kramer and Allan Russell Get Married in Intimate Scotland Wedding
- Caitlin Clark's next game: Indiana Fever vs. Minnesota Lynx on Sunday
- Federal hiring is about to get the Trump treatment
- Navy fighter pilots, sailors return home after months countering intense Houthi attacks
Ranking
- Who's hosting 'Saturday Night Live' tonight? Musical guest, how to watch Dec. 14 episode
- Video: Baby red panda is thriving in New York despite being abandoned by mother
- Delta Air Lines adopts new rules for flight attendant uniforms after Palestinian pin flap
- Suitcases containing suspected human remains found on iconic U.K. bridge
- DeepSeek: Did a little known Chinese startup cause a 'Sputnik moment' for AI?
- Shannen Doherty, ‘Beverly Hills, 90210’ star, dies at 53
- Richard Simmons, Dr. Ruth interview goes viral after their deaths; stars post tributes
- Shannen Doherty, ‘Beverly Hills, 90210’ star, dies at 53
Recommendation
Current, future North Carolina governor’s challenge of power
The first Titanic voyage in 14 years is happening in the wake of submersible tragedy. Hopes are high
Jacoby Jones, former Baltimore Ravens Super Bowl hero, dies at age 40
Delta Air Lines adopts new rules for flight attendant uniforms after Palestinian pin flap
Retirement planning: 3 crucial moves everyone should make before 2025
Alyssa Milano Acknowledges Complicated Shannen Doherty Relationship in Tribute to Charmed Costar
Navy fighter pilots, sailors return home after months countering intense Houthi attacks
'Dr. Ruth' was more than a sex therapist: How her impact spans generations